AJ and a LATTE

As this past year has unfolded I have shared so many firsts.  We are embarking on a whole new adventure of firsts as we literally are running into the new school year.  ‘25-’26 will have its own new normals with Matt going it without me at school and me forging my own new way at Wayland.  Today was the first of those firsts.

We are in San Antonio at the Texas Bandmasters Association Convention.  For the first time, I am JUST THE SPOUSE.  I have no responsibilities (-ish. We are presenting a clinic tomorrow about teaching in a small school with another couple).  As we walk the convention floor, I am not looking for any guard equipment, marching band props, elementary tie ins, piano or flute literature…I am literally “just the…”  

Now, for my public face I am excited and loving my new gig!!!  This is really true. But privately, deep down where the little girl hides, I am TERRIFIED!!!!  Oh how I hope I have made the right decision!  I have never gotten to come and just be the plus one.  Is it a role that I am equipped for?  I watch many of the other wives do the spouses’ luncheon.  That’s not me!  I can’t see myself off shopping with Matt doing the convention.  (We are replacing plumbing at home–emergency no less, so there isn’t money to shop anyway!!! haha)  I have never worn the title of “Just the” very well–oh, she’s just the elementary music teacher–oh, she’s just the assistant–oh, she’s just the wife.  

However, I am embracing my new “just the…”  How freeing to know I can look at the things I want and walk right on by the things I don’t.  There is no responsibility other than speaking to friends and perhaps making a couple of new ones.  All I have to do is be me.  I don’t have to wear a title.  

This year of growth and introspection has been so healing in so many ways.  I can’t wait to see how my “just the…” is going to continue this road to really identifying my true self.  I will still support Matt to the end of the earth and back.  I will still be an ear, a consultant, an opinion, a shoulder, but now I can do it unabashedly from his side.  I get to be the wife, not the co-worker.  I also get to walk away when I get tired.  I get to focus on my things.  Hmmm…guess I should figure out some things to be mine!!!! Hahahaha